Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Randomize