What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
