respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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