:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
