He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I forgot how hot balto sounded
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
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