once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Randomize
