Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
