okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
