I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
