His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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