Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Come back. Shots need mouths.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
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