i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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