first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
