I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
