It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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