Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize