Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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