We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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