I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Randomize
