friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
