Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
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