wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
