the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
