If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
there was a trapeze. enough said
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
