i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
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