I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
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