Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
My ass is underappreciated
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
