things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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