I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
