This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
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This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
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You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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