I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I need moral support for this bender
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
