I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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