My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
