I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize