She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.