Texts From Last Night

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  (424): View more from California

  You just made me feel so damn special

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  (424): You just made me feel so damn special http://tfl.nu/801g
  Replies (5) Good night (1534) Bad night (800)
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  (742): View more from

  What happened last night?

  (1-742): View more from

  You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.

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  (742): What happened last night? (1-742): You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth. http://tfl.nu/koqa
  Replies (5) Good night (953) Bad night (4966)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it

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  (609): you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it http://tfl.nu/ioqt
  Replies (16) Good night (6065) Bad night (765)
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  (507): View more from Minnesota

  I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.

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  (507): I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk. http://tfl.nu/xqiq
  Replies (11) Good night (3417) Bad night (864)
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  (209): View more from California

  You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant

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  (209): You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant http://tfl.nu/dw7g
  Replies (7) Good night (2501) Bad night (2081)
• Favorite

  (618): View more from Illinois

  So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?

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  (618): So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date? http://tfl.nu/zipl
  Replies (3) Good night (1873) Bad night (1208)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....

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  (817): I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy.... http://tfl.nu/l8ba
  Replies (8) Good night (1912) Bad night (745)
• Favorite

  (989): View more from Michigan

  Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?

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  (989): Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics? http://tfl.nu/kwmb
  Replies (10) Good night (3028) Bad night (875)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.

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  (303): Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures. http://tfl.nu/miux
  Replies (7) Good night (640) Bad night (2018)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  You said you were "testing the product for Chris."

  (848): View more from New Jersey

  I'm a bad man.

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  (732): While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing. (732): You said you were "testing the product for Chris." (848): I'm a bad man. http://tfl.nu/x77n
  Replies (2) Good night (1662) Bad night (917)
• Favorite

  (510): View more from California

  This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?

  (925): View more from California

  Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.

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  (510): This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over? (925): Quite the smooth talker. There in 5. http://tfl.nu/ccg0
  Replies (7) Good night (3329) Bad night (696)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.

  (1-603): View more from New Hampshire

  It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.

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  (603): I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP. (1-603): It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay. http://tfl.nu/8z7g
  Replies (8) Good night (1543) Bad night (578)
• Favorite

  (469): View more from Texas

  He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.

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  (469): He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out. http://tfl.nu/vcz5
  Replies (4) Good night (1060) Bad night (358)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.

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  (215): Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke. http://tfl.nu/g0ji
  Replies (2) Good night (703) Bad night (426)
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.

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  (305): Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home. http://tfl.nu/dxz5
  Replies (1) Good night (523) Bad night (323)

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