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• (407): View more from Florida

  this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.

  Fav 65 14126 1169

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• (913): View more from Kansas

  he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever

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• (651): View more from Minnesota

  make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.

  (1-651): View more from Minnesota

  I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.

  Fav 40 4189 5378

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• (626): View more from California

  Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (732): View more from New Jersey

  I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.

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• (702): View more from Nevada

  you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes

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• (410): View more from Maryland

  I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.

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• (417): View more from Missouri

  So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?

  Fav 6 1137 626

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.

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  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (509): View more from Washington

  Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.

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• (954): View more from Florida

  Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.

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• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him

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• (917): View more from New York City

  i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough

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• (540): View more from Virginia

  Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?

  (804): View more from Virginia

  Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.

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