I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
