Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.