Texts From Last Night

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  (314): View more from Missouri

  Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...

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  (314): Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship... http://tfl.nu/725d
  Replies (12) Good night (837) Bad night (1404)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast

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  (615): Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast http://tfl.nu/lexd
  Replies (12) Good night (676) Bad night (1934)
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  (310): View more from California

  so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?

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  (310): so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump? http://tfl.nu/ubjm
  Replies (33) Good night (802) Bad night (4305)
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  (631): View more from New York

  we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.

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  (631): we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow. http://tfl.nu/crmc
  Replies (30) Good night (3780) Bad night (571)
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  (+44): View more from England

  Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.

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  (+44): Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'. http://tfl.nu/zxab
  Replies (54) Good night (1750) Bad night (9816)
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.

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  (765): She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it. http://tfl.nu/h4q6
  Replies (22) Good night (6137) Bad night (1064)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.

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  (630): Thursday nights need to stop happening to me. http://tfl.nu/p744
  Replies (8) Good night (2328) Bad night (885)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel

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  (201): I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel http://tfl.nu/tjoe
  Replies (8) Good night (2728) Bad night (851)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  Career choice validated

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  (732): Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!" (732): Career choice validated http://tfl.nu/g765
  Replies (51) Good night (9440) Bad night (945)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face

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  (248): Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face http://tfl.nu/s7dy
  Replies (12) Good night (632) Bad night (1911)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him

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  (602): just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him http://tfl.nu/vcwf
  Replies (9) Good night (771) Bad night (1216)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before

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  (248): Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before http://tfl.nu/sx14
  Replies (4) Good night (896) Bad night (443)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'

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  (309): he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins' http://tfl.nu/d755
  Replies (9) Good night (1805) Bad night (882)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.

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  (847): I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday. http://tfl.nu/eqk0
  Replies (4) Good night (904) Bad night (589)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...

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  (215): Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or... http://tfl.nu/y16p
  Replies (8) Good night (681) Bad night (838)

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