literally had 100 drinks last night.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize