Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Randomize
