everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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