Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Randomize
