Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
