So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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