This is not my ceiling
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
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