i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize
