What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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