I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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