I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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