my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
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weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
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When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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