Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
