i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
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