you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Randomize
