Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Randomize
