I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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