I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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