dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
3 2 1 whiskey
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
