The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
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