A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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