She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
