I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
