well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
