How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
