the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
