Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
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