I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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